About

  • My name is Jamie Thrower (she/they) and I am a Queer death doula and educator providing hands on support, education and advocacy for the LGBTQ+ community in end of life care and grief.

    As a death doula, I provide guidance, education and compassionate care for the dying and their families, emphasizing agency, empowerment and community connection. My practice is rooted in radical vulnerability, authenticity and curiosity about all that we don’t know. By examining the universal truth that we will all die someday– and—that we will all be touched by grief deeply, we are required to commit to continuous self exploration, reframing, and reimagining what it means to be here, now.

  • As a Queer person, I know that underserved communities experience death and grief through intersecting identities that are not considered or affirmed during their care.

    To look for grief/end of life care and not see yourself, your relationship, your family, or your community reflected in the language or offerings is a harmful and painful reminder of our continued erasure and discrimination because of our LGBTQ+ identities. I am dedicated to creating more Queer affirming grief spaces, advocating for inclusive end of life and post-death care, providing resources specifically for my LGBTQ+ community and helping practitioners and organizations expand their scope of care to include and affirm the LGBTQ+ community.

  • I am a storyteller, an artist, a tender-hearted human, costume jewelry enthusiast, book nerd, goofiest pet parent, obsessed with growing flowers,

    and deeply in love with my community. The openness and personal vulnerability that I bring to this work isn’t always mirrored in the world, but I believe it is necessary for true support and meaningful connection and care. I live alongside my losses every day with openness–embracing my grief as an integral part of who I am. To know me is to know my grief: It is how I carry my parents and my daughter into this world with me, and how their memory and legacies live on through so much of what I do. This work is sacred and profound and it is an honor to serve my community in this way.

  • I believe that death care is community care.

  • I believe in naming and honoring the intersections of our identities and lived experiences and how they shape our world in life, and in death.

  • I believe in reclaiming the right to grieve openly and authentically.

  • I believe that grief can teach us so much more about love.

  • I believe that grief is a sacred and necessary response to loss.

  • I believe that the end of everyone’s life deserves respect and honor.

  • I believe that affirming and culturally competent death and grief care practices should be accessible to all.

My why

  • Loss and grief have been a central theme throughout my life since I was a young person.

    Both of my parents died by the time I was 28– my mom from cancer and my dad from a rare neuro-degenerative disease called multiple system atrophy. They used home hospice and were proactive about their death plans, and still, there were so many holes in the support that we were offered which couldn’t be filled. There was so much to learn and stumble through, and I felt more isolated and alone than ever. My experience opened my world to help me understand and offer the kind of practical, nurturing and customized support that I provide now.

  • When my partner and I lost our daughter Birdie in a second trimester miscarriage/early stillbirth,

    followed by 5 additional miscarriages, I found myself incredibly lonely in a grief support world that did not make space for or represent families like mine, or stories like ours. I created Queer Grief Club first as a personal expression of my own grief, which has now bloomed into a larger Queer grief community and support space, which is profound and so special. I am humbled by this work everyday.

My areas of specialty

Parent/Caregiver loss

Medical aid in dying and VSED care coordination

LGBTQ+ education and advocacy

My education and teachers

My death doula work is built upon the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance's End-of-Life Doula Model of Care. It is collaborative, non-medical, non-judgmental, and client-centered. I am passionate about normalizing the dying process through a holistic approach so that I can support clients and their caretakers in becoming more informed decision-makers. As a self employed doula, I regularly take trauma-informed practices and DEI courses, and am dedicated to lifelong learning and unlearning from a diverse array of teachers in order to provide the best care to my clients.

  • Bachelor’s of Science in Public Health: San Francisco State University

  • Death Doula Certificate: Association of Professions Career College

  • Death Companioning: School of American Thanology

  • Grief Support: Portland Institute for Loss and Transition

Speaking & Consultation Work

Hire Jamie to speak at your event

One of the great joys of my work is being able to share my personal experiences with death and grief alongside my advocacy and education with bigger audiences. I have led numerous webinars, presentations and workshops on the topics of LGBTQ+ end of life care, grief support, the role of a death doula and more. I additionally provide LGBTQ+ consultation work for hospice groups, hospitals, private practices, nonprofits, organizations and more, helping them create programs, inclusivity audits, and assisting them in creating systems and best practices to better serve the Queer community.

To inquire about speaking or consultation availability please submit a request.

Some examples of past webinars and talks:

  • Navigating Queer Grief: The Intersection of Identity and Loss

  • Creating LGBTQ+ Inclusive Practices in end of life care and grief support

  • Advance care planning considerations for the LGBTQ community

  • The role of a death doula in traditional healthcare systems

  • Information sessions about Medical Aid in Dying and/or VSED

Contact me about speaking with your organization